The horrible accident (that wasn't)

So, my job. I clock in at our Fort Worth location, load my truck up with transfers for our Dallas location, and take it there. Usually, it is right around 8 am when I get to the Dallas store. I unload and leave there usually around 9. Felicia, my beautiful wife, normally calls me when she gets to work, so that I, the consummate worrywart, know that she made it OK. On this morning, there was no missed call, no message on my cell phone, so I called her and got her voice mail. I left her a message, something to the effect of "Hi honey, you forgot to call me when you got to work, call me when you get a chance."
Thinking nothing more, I started on my pickup route in Dallas and turned on the radio. To hear a traffic report about a horrible accident that shut down all but one lane of a 4-lane highway. The highway she drives to work on. And I haven’t heard from her. So, I call again. And get her voice mail. I now leave a message something to the effect of "Hey honey, call me and let me know that you weren’t involved in that accident on 35."
Twenty minutes later, I still haven’t heard from her. So… over the next 2 hours I call 22 times, leave something like 12 messages, each one progressively more frantic. Picturing her mangled and trapped in her car, unable to answer the phone. At one point I was actually in tears. If you don’t know me, take my word, I am a big manly type man. I don’t cry. I was SCARED. I mean, it wasn’t like her phone went straight to voice mail like it was turned off because she was in a meeting or something. It rang and rang, 4 or 5 times each call, before it went to message.
By the time she DID finally answer, I was a wreck. I was so relieved to hear her voice that my first reaction was "I am going to kill you". Loving husband that I am. She told me, over the hubbub of voices from the meeting she had attended, that this was not the time, we would discuss this later. She hadn’t noticed the 22 missed calls, or listened to the 12 frantic messages yet.
Okay, at least I knew she was alive, not trapped in a mangled car, bleeding to death.
About 20 minutes later, she calls me. By this time she has noticed the bazillion missed calls. And the 12 messages, each one more frantic than the last. One crying. So, she calls me and we begin to straighten out why I was so upset, when she says "hold on a sec" and apparently puts the phone in her lap. Then I hear the "ding ding ding" of the door chime as she opens the car door. Then I hear a man’s voice. "Lady, I will make this short… I am stuck here, and I need to be… blah blah blah," you know the drill. So all this time, I am saying into the phone "honey… honey… HONEY" when I finally hear her break into the guy’s spiel with "I will save you some time here, if you are asking me for money, I don’t carry cash, I can’t help you".
At which point she closes the door and picks up the phone. "Sorry about that" she say.
"Did you just open your car door for some guy you don’t know?" I ask.
"Well, I had to, to talk to him"
"Why didn’t you just roll down the window?"
"I couldn’t"
"You couldn’t. Why couldn’t you?"
"Well, because I am in your mother’s car, the windows are electric"
"So, why didn’t you stick the key in the ignition? What if he had been a psycho?"
"Well, I didn’t hang up the phone, you would have heard me screaming"
"Yes. And I would have done WHAT exactly? Hang up and call a cop and tell him that you are SOMEWHERE in Fort Worth being attacked? I don’t even know where you are."
"Oh," she says. "I’m at La Gran Plaza." Which makes me feel way better. La Gran Plaza is in the middle of gang territory. JUST where I want my wife opening her car door for some guy she doesn’t know from Adam.
This was the point where I told her that we were going to find out if the 85 bucks a month we are spending on her Jiu Jitsu class were worth it, because I was going to mangle her when she got home.
Sometimes I think that woman is purposely trying to give me either a stroke or an aneurysm. Anyone know if she has taken out a large insurance policy on me?
Oh. Speaking of insurance policy. So it iced here in Fort Worth a couple weeks ago. Since I normally ride a motorcycle, I thought it might be prudent to use Felicia’s car instead. Since we get off work at vastly different times, I had her ask a coworker for a ride home. Her coworker (a cop) told her to just get a large insurance policy on me and make me ride. The compassion is overwhelming.